I stumbled on my own post just minutes ago and thought it’s worth sharing.
- Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a curtain. Four hours after you go to sleep, have your wife whip open the curtain, shine a flashlight in your eyes, and mumble “Sorry wrong rack“.
- Every so often, throw your cat into the swimming pool, shout “Man overboard, starboard side!“, run into the kitchen and sweep all the pots/pans/dishes off the counter onto the floor, then yell at your wife for not having the place “Stowed for sea“.
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